I was spinning, always spinning. In the front entrance of my childhood home, I would dance and sing and spin. Listening to WOW Worship on a Saturday morning, while my Mom and Dad made pancakes in the kitchen for breakfast, I’d be in the living room with my sisters - dancing and spinning. It would be a warm day in the middle of summer, the grass cool beneath my little feet and tickling my toes, as I’d jump and roll and spin in the front yard.

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Life felt breathtaking, freedom seemed to be at my fingertips and I thought I was invincible.

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The fantasy of life began to ebb and fray the older I became, challenges and struggles poked holes in my perfect bubble. Fearful thoughts crept into my mind and little did I know, I was spinning faster than I could control toward a day that would radically change my life forever.

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Eighteen. That’s how old I was when I stood in my parents room staring at the lifeless body of my Dad on the floor. Moments before I was sure I was climbing out of my pit of despair and reaching for a brighter day. Instead, there I was, the world spinning madly around me and my Dad was dead.

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Dead.

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I had to let that word sink in.

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The tears poured from my eyes, I gasped for air and my legs were weak beneath me. I had so many questions running through my mind - but above all, I wanted to know - where was God?

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Life knocks us off our feet and rips the wind right out of us when we least expect it. We’d like to believe we’ll be ready for the hard blows we’ll face, but the truth is, we’re never ready for pain. Our lives our unpredictable, unsteady and each moment we’re stepping into another unknown. Yet somehow, despite the hardships, the pitfalls, the heartaches, or as the Bible clearly depicts, the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:4), we make our way through. We pick up the pieces and we keep moving forward - but how do we do this joyfully, with purpose, intention and hope?

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I don’t know where you root your identity, what emotions you struggle with, what memories bring back tears, forcing you to swallow the enormous lump in your throat - but what I do know is that whether you’re sitting in your brokenness or just climbing out and trying to fit all the pieces back together - you were not made to walk alone. 

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It took me 11 years to get here. It took 11 years of God, chipping and chiseling away at this stubborn stone heart of mine and lead me to this place of surrender (and He isn’t finished with me yet!).

 

I’m now married to a God fearing man and a homeschool Mom to two beautiful boys. I love to write stories and poetry, read books, go on long walks and spend quality time with my family and of course, Jesus. I became a Certified Christian Health Mentor in 2022, which was something God had slowly been preparing me for over the course of those 11 years to shape me and prepare me for this time now. Which is what led to me building Rest and Remain. God told me to step out in faith and use what He has taught me and is teaching me to guide, encourage, uplift, redirect and lead others through the Gospel of truth. More specifically, He is telling me to walk with women who are caught in the snare of anxiety, stress and overwhelm. 

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If you're here reading this I want you to know that I've prayed for you. I have asked God to reach into your life and help you break free because sister, it's possible. That freedom you so desperately desire is within reach and I would be humbled, considering it a privilege to be given permission to step into your life. To journey with you and give you the foundation to confidently move forward and rise up in victory! I can’t promise you that change will be immediate - but I can tell you from my personal experiences, that when you allow the Holy Spirit to work, He will change you from the inside out and it will be unexpectedly beautiful.

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